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Want to quit with flair? Now you can write your own Mattis-style resignation letter.


President Trump, left, pauses while speaking as Defense Secretary Jim Mattis listens on June 21, 2018. (Yuri Gripas/Bloomberg) By Philip Bump Philip Bump National correspondent focused largely on the numbers behind politics Email Bio Follow December 21 at 11:58 AM Not every employee in the United States simply walks away from his or her job without saying goodbye, however common that might be these days. Many Americans, even in this low-unemployment economy, are traditionalists, and inform their employers of their intention to leave their jobs. Others, wishing to put a fine point on things, go out of their way to make clear why they are leaving.

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We’ve seen two recent examples of the latter this month. In one case, 17-year-old Jackson Racicot grabbed the intercom microphone at a Walmart in Canada to read a prepared rant disparaging his bosses and the company so that every customer could hear. Naturally he recorded the incident to ensure his walk-out went viral.

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Defense Secretary Jim Mattis gained nearly as much attention in a somewhat more dignified manner.

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On Thursday evening, President Trump announced that Mattis was leaving the Pentagon. In short order, Mattis‘ resignation letter was released, eight paragraphs of barely disguised disparagement of the priorities and beliefs of the president who will soon be his ex-boss. Sure, unlike Racicot, Mattis didn’t use the f-word, but you can catch a glimmer of it if you peek between the lines.

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But writing that much takes a long time. So, we’ve streamlined things. Below, a tool which takes the structure and tone of Mattis’s letter but allows you to customize it for your own purposes. Generate as many letters as you need, using our sweeping set of complaints as a guideline

Pick three things that your boss does which frustrate you. Eats loudly at desk Constantly berates you in public Fails to provide support as needed Undermines international alliances Won’t consider you for promotion Insists on burdensome job responsibilities Holds too many meetings Treats international adversaries with kid gloves Assigns you to demeaning work Supports a sports team you hate Is a pain about expenses Disrespects the international order

What is your boss’s name?

What is your name?

What is your job title?

MAKE MY LETTER CHANGE MY LETTER (If you’re curious, only one of those is a complaint I actually have about my current boss, who is a Yankees fan.)

So there you go. If this isn’t quite your style, I’m sure you can develop a Racicotian exit speech without too much effort. The gist is basically to say the f-word and then the name of your company. Not complicated

Or you could be trendy and just leave your job. That’s probably coming next for some member of Trump’s Cabinet